Faith and Hope for the Journey

Have you ever been in a hopeless situation? Everything around you is a dead end. There’s nowhere to go. Every possible solution is actually another facet of the problem.

 
A depressing start, you may think, but I wonder if there is anyone here who doesn’t have this experience.

 

There are some things that join us together as people, suffering is one of them.
Another thing that may join us together is our questioning of the purpose, significance or existence of such hardships.

 

A few weeks ago, Kate talked about walking with God through the hard times. She encouraged us to stand with each other as we question. It made me question and reflect upon the times I have felt hopeless and faced hopelessness.

 

When my middle daughter Emily was born well, it was a real relief. I had been ill towards the end of my pregnancy with a rare condition that could cause stillbirth. Thankfully, it was recognised and the situation managed by excellent medical staff, she was born healthy and strong.

 

Four weeks later, I had friends around for dinner. Emily had been poorly with a cold so we kept her downstairs. At about 10pm, my friend looked in her crib and picked her up saying she looked blue.

There began a time of what initially seemed a hopeless situation.

We rushed her to hospital, she stopped breathing, her lungs collapsed, her heart stopped and everything became bleak.

I clung to Nik and we begged God to save her. She made it through the first hour, the second hour and then the night. She spent time in Intensive care and gradually got better.

I clearly remember praying “God save her.” I bargained with him, begged him, got angry with him and then just sat. People told me to have hope and faith. I wondered, “faith for what? Faith that God will give me what I want, or faith that God is who he says he is and even if I don’t get my desire; His Word and his character are still true”. I remember saying to God “Save her, but even if she dies, I know that you are good and you are just and I hope I will still have it in me to worship you”.

 

What a weird thing to say! How can God be ‘good’ and ‘just’ if my baby dies? I have wrestled with this question over and over again.

I teach A-Level philosophy and examining this question is a significant and lengthy part of the course. Why is that? Because it’s a real question asked by real people every day.

 

Many of my friends and family are struggling with this issue – why is there pain? Why does God say in His Word he will protect me and then I get ill?

There are many theological and philosophical teachings on this and I can find comfort and rational understanding in some of them. Others, I find unhelpful!

 

I remember when I married Nik, he suffered greatly with a bad back. He would pass out frequently from the pain. I had to place cushions at the foot of the stairs as he would often black out at the top and come tumbling down. We prayed and asked God for healing. Over the years of praying, fasting and praying again we heard many theories as to why God allowed Nik to suffer. The least helpful was that it was caused by un-confessed sin. Nik repented of everything – even stuff he hadn’t done and it still hurt! Another unhelpful response was that he clearly lacked faith that God would change his circumstance. Again, this didn’t ring true as I knew of many faithful people who had endured great suffering and God had not healed all of them. I’m not saying that un-confessed sin and lack of faith are irrelevant in our sufferings, only that they do not offer a complete explanation.

As I explored the Bible more deeply, I recognised that suffering is a theme that goes right the way through, from the first book to the last! The Bible doesn’t ignore suffering, but points to God through it.

Psalm 61:2 says:
“From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. “

In Habakkuk 3:17-18 it says:
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Saviour.

 

 

I understand the idea of a God who wants to have relationship with us, a relationship that is not coerced, forced or robotic but a relationship that is based on genuine freedom. I am free to choose to love God or not. This means I am also free to choose my actions and at times, people get hurt by them. A fantastic book that explores this idea and the consequences of it is ‘The Shack’ by William Young. It is a narrative about a man’s heartache after the kidnap and murder of his child. It is really easy to read, but has real depth.

 

We live in a broken world that brings hurt and harm to people, either at the hands of humanity or at nature.

 

In his book “The Reason for God” Tim Keller, a New York Pastor, explores this problem of suffering. I would also recommend this as a great read. He finishes chapter 2 with a fantastic quote from C.S Lewis, the man who wrote the Narnia stories:

 
“They say of some temporal suffering, “No future bliss can make up for it,” not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory.”

 

My Emily did get better and looking back on that time, I can see God at work in so many ways. I got to chat to a dad in intensive care, whose child would never leave, about a God who cries with him and loves him. Our Christian friend was a consultant on the ward who prayed with us and for Emily, friends and family were there and just sat with us. I learnt a lot about faith.

 

I asked Emily for permission to tell her story this morning, as it is hers.
She was very excited because she gets to be famous for a moment but also because this episode in her life has been the gift of faith for her.

 

She had to take baby photos into school once and insisted on taking the picture of her in Intensive Care. Her teacher said she told the whole class how God had made her well. I think that agony will be a glory for her in this life. For some, suffering endures beyond life, yet God can even work through that.

I taught a lesson on forgiveness a while ago at school and we looked at the testimony of a women called Gee Walker. Her teenage son was murdered by people he had known since primary school. She publicly forgave her son’s killers and the media were astounded by her faith in God. She spoke of God’s love and mercy towards the killer’s. She spoke of her son in Heaven, with Jesus.

 

I had hope for Emily to live, hope that God would save her mortal life, but I had to recognise that even if he didn’t, my faith in his goodness went beyond this mortal life to a future glory with him. If Emily didn’t make it, she would be with Jesus. This makes it sound as though I came to this place in a matter of moments – I didn’t, it took time to process what had happened, what had nearly happened and where God was in it all. I sometimes get asked, would I have come to the same conclusion if she had died? I think so, but it would have probably taken a lot longer – having faith that God’s promises were true beyond my mortal timespan, was a journey.

During this time, I found myself reading the Bible quite a lot. I would love to share with you a story that spoke to me at the time.

 

It’s a story tucked away in Matthew’s Gospel. Matthew’s Gospel is a beautiful story of the life of Jesus. It was written about 75AD-85AD, approximately 50 years after the death and resurrection of Jesus. It is likely that Matthew had read Mark’s Gospel, but also had another source of information that Mark did not have. It is not entirely certain exactly who Matthew was. It was once thought he was the apostle Matthew, the tax collector, however if this were so, he wouldn’t have needed to use Mark’s Gospel as he would have been there himself! Therefore, authorship remains a little bit of a mystery.

Matthew wrote to show the Jewish people of the time and those who would read his Gospel later, that Jesus was the long-promised and long–awaited Messiah. He was the one; the Son of God. God had sent his Messiah, he had remained faithful to his people and kept his promises. The Gospel is also one of instruction – for the individual and the church. It has lots of stories and wise teachings in it to help the people live their lives.

It’s within this Big Picture of the Gospel: that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, everything that was promised, that we find the story of Jesus walking on water - in Matthew chapter 14 verse 22-36

Matthew’s Gospel is the first book of the New Testament about two thirds of the way through the Bible – after Malachi and before Mark. If you don’t have a bible, there are some available to use of the tables. If you would like to keep it – feel free! The words will appear on the screen.

 

So, Matthew chapter 14:
Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. 

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” 
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” 
“Come,” he said.

 

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” 
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” 

 

When they had crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret. And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched it were healed.

The first word of this passage is important: immediately. For me, this says: read what has just happened! Looking back, two major events had just taken place in the life of Jesus. At the beginning of chapter 14 we read about the death of Jesus’ cousin, John the Baptist. John had baptised Jesus at the start of his ministry – a trusted friend and probably a childhood companion. Jesus sought solace to grieve but could not do so as large crowds followed him. From a place of grief, Jesus teaches 5000 men (women weren’t counted!) and feeds them with 5 loaves and 2 fish. A great miracle that has been retold for 2 thousand years.

From this place, he sent his disciples to the other side of the lake and sought time with God the Father, alone. The disciples are having a rough journey, the wind is high and then, just before dawn, they see Jesus walking towards them on the lake.

They are terrified and think it’s a ghost.
A fairly understandable reaction! However, they had just seen him miraculously feed 5000 people, raise a girl from the dead, heal a bleeding woman, free people from evil spirits, in fact many miracles. Yet here, in the relatively normal world of a boat (remember many of them were fishermen), they returned to fear and unknowing.
Verse 27 says: But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

I love the word ‘immediately’ here - Jesus is there as soon as he is needed. He instructs them to have courage. His presence and person is enough. Nothing else is required.

Interestingly, the Greek used here is ego eimi: "I am."

This simple piece of language powerfully connects Jesus to the God of Israel. When Moses asks God in the burning bush for his name, God says that his name is "I Am." Yahweh is the great "I Am," and Jesus more than once connects himself to this very same God.

Jesus is God, and that's why his presence gives us cause to take courage and, in turn, to not be afraid.
After hearing this, Peter should be all fired up, full of faith and ready to go. Yet he asks in verse 28 “Lord, if it’s you...tell me to come to you on the water.”

Peter is willing to take a risk – but needs to know that Jesus is who he says he is. Peter is hopeful in the person of Jesus, he has just seen him do amazing things, yet, he still has a moment of doubt. He seeks direction from Jesus and takes a step. He has faith, at this point, that Jesus is the Messiah.

Peter is willing to take a risk – but needs to know that Jesus is who he says he is. Peter is hopeful in the person of Jesus, he has just seen him do amazing things, yet, he still has a moment of doubt. He seeks direction from Jesus and takes a step. He has faith, at this point, that Jesus is the Messiah.

His faith is not necessarily that he can also walk on water – I’m not convinced that’s the skill he is after here, I think his belief is that Jesus is the real thing.

I’m certain he didn’t want to drown and so the ability to walk on water is necessary, however, his faith and hope is in the person of Jesus, not the physical world around him.

 

Peter walks towards Jesus and then that tiny word at the beginning of verse 30: "BUT"
The turning point.

Peter is suddenly acutely aware of his circumstances. As a fisherman, he knows how rough the sea gets, how dangerous it can be. His conviction that Jesus is the real thing lessens in the face of his actually quite realistic knowledge of how bad worldly things can get. It all got a bit too much – he begins to sink.

That’s how I felt in that hospital when Emily was so ill. My world was sinking all around me. There was this dawning realisation that the world was a broken place and people die. I began to sink. I stretched out my hand and Jesus got me through those first few weeks.

I have often heard people criticise Peter for the sinking, however, I have always been impressed by 2 things:

Firstly, he actually took a risk and got out of the boat and secondly, in his moment of fear, overwhelming hopelessness and dawning realisation of his physical circumstances, his instant response was to call out in faith to the one who he had hope could and would save him.

 

Then that other little word that keeps cropping up in relation to Jesus – ‘immediately’. Jesus is there, stretching out his hand, saving him.

Jesus asks Peter why he doubted, (note, not why he was frightened). An interesting question – I suspect Jesus already knew the answer!

 

I think Peter doubted because it all became too much and he realised the stupidity of what he was attempting to do. His faith in the person of Jesus faltered. But when he felt consumed by the world again, he called out in hope that Jesus was there to save him.

I guess we all find ourselves attempting to walk on water sometimes, we are full of hope and conviction and then we lose it. Perhaps someone questions our actions, or we realise our dreams and hopes from the Lord are a bit strange to others.

 

Maybe, our lives were going well and then something happens – we get hurt, betrayed, end up in debt, lose our job, our spouse becomes a stranger, loved ones die, the innocent suffer. I cannot explain the why of all these things, yet I know they are a reality. We live in a world of broken people, people in need of hope.

When I feel overwhelmed by the circumstance, I have to stretch out my hand to the person of Jesus who is just and good. The man Jesus who grieved for his cousin and knows our suffering, even to the point of his own death.
My circumstances may change, they may not. God might heal, he might not, yet the person of Jesus steadies our soul for the journey and walks with us back to the boat.

 

So, what of the other disciples? As much as I have heard Peter criticised for sinking, I have heard the disciples criticised for not getting out of the boat! 

• Were they too scared to try? 
• Did they often leave things to Peter as he was one of Jesus’ closest disciples and a leader amongst them?

Whatever their reason for staying in the boat, maybe they lacked conviction that Jesus was who he said he was, maybe they didn’t understand that ‘everyone gets to play’ they were all able to take risks for Jesus, that they were being called to follow in his footsteps.

Yet, when Jesus got in the boat, verse 32 says they worshipped him; they recognised him for who he was and put their faith in him.

It can be hard to do that when we have so many questions, yet our God is not a God who ignores our suffering or judges our questions. He is a God who is so involved in our suffering that he himself suffered and died so that we may be with him for eternity.

 

Things might not turn out the way we want them to, but God is constant and unchanging and he loves us.

 

I‘ll finish with a small verse from the New Testament in the Book of Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.